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2003-12-19 11:36 p.m. lately i've been toying with the idea of taking myself off of livejournal, diaryland, friendster, msn, icq, stop checking my email, rarely taking phone calls or going out and basically becoming a hermit. because i don't understand if it's communicating with others that makes me happy or makes me unhappy. like i wanna do an experiment to see how this affects me. what does what other people say and do affect how i feel? or is it all other things like the amount of sleep i have, hunger, the time of the month, the music i listen to, etc. not to get too philosophical, but like decartes - i am, i exist. but am i who i am or exist because of not just me, but others around me, who make me feel like i exist and if my existence is even worth while? this sounds totally retarded. tonight i cried for the first time in quite a few weeks. maybe a month? i don't know, but that's rare to go that long without crying for me and let me just say that it felt good to get it out even though it felt bad. whatever. tomorrow is a new day and tomorrow i will probably cry again because tomorrow i will probably watch the alf christmas special, which is always a tear jerker. |
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